Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the mexican say when the 2 houses fell on him?

Get off me holmes!

Why do clumsy people get married?

They fall in love.

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.

What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser?

Resisting a rest.

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did they give a megaphone to the dog who couldn't climb a tree?

Because he couldn't bark

What do a racist and an apple have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Why did the skydiver die before reaching the ground?

Because he reached terminal velocity.

Why did the tree keep getting grounded?

Because it was s knotty pine!

Almond Jokes More Almond Jokes

What's the hardest part about being a vegan?

Waking up at 5 am to milk the almonds.

Why is almond milk called almond milk?

Because nobody would drink it if it was called nut juice.