What does God do whenever he gets frustrated with Jesus?

He gets out the Bible Belt!

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How did Jesus stay in shape?

Crossfit

Why doesn't Jesus like M&amp?

Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles.

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Why did god invent whiskey?

x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world

What does the H. in Jesus H. Christ stand for?

Hallmark. God cares enough to send the very best.