What does Putin say during his new years speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house? Me: The red guy Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house? Me: The blue guy Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house? Me: The yellow guy Her: Who lives in the white house? Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out: The black guy!!

Why are Mumford & Sons the only agnostic rock band?

Because they don't even know if they believe.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why was the calendar nervous?

It's days were numbered!

What is that son of yours doing these days ?

2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What did russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

Why is the Kremlin so much warmer this winter?

It had new windows Putin