What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands

How do you shut up a deaf person?

Punch them in the hands.

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How far along are you?

ME: 5 stops.

What does the pirates 5 trailer and the iPhone 7 have in common?

There's no jack