How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days ?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

Why are sloths one of the 7 deadly sins?

Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.

Wood Jokes More Wood Jokes

What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

Answer: "I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha! :)

Why aren't cars made out of wood?

Because they wooden go.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What's left of a garden after it catches on fire?

Chard remains.

What do you call a dwarf that was on fire?

A lil smokey

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

How does Mulan's boyfriend explain himself when she caught him smoking pot?

Shanghai

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas?

Gloves. Just kidding he couldn't open it to find out

Jack Jokes More Jack Jokes

How do you steal something from a crazy person?

You straight jack it.

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

Figure Jokes More Figure Jokes

How do you annoy a computer person with a problem?

Never mind, I figured it out.

How do you figure out how sensitive a man's balls are?

Test tickles

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Why is pinocchio so good in the bedroom?

He nose what he's doing