What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What does an envelope say when you lick it?

Nothing. It just shuts up.

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships ?

With their eyes shut !

Sew Jokes More Sew Jokes

How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew