Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Taylor Swift Jokes More Taylor Swift Jokes

Whats the difference between Taylor Swift and Adele?

About fifty pounds

How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other?

Make a mixed tape.

Jean Luc Picard Jokes More Jean Luc Picard Jokes

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

How Many Lightbulbs Does it Take to Change Captain Jean Luc Picard?

4 or 5.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Why did the scarecrow get the job?

Because he was out standing in his field.

Tailor Swift Jokes More Tailor Swift Jokes

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G My 8 year old son came up with this one.

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel?

I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing.

How do chinese people laugh over the internet?

Lmao Zedong

Moderator Jokes More Moderator Jokes

What do you call a guy who can't get a word in edgewise during an argument?

A "moderator", apparently.

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What are Bill Gates latest projects?

Needle upscaling and camel miniaturization.