Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

Why is it that in girls tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing?

Shouldn't they be revving chainsaws and burning stuff down

Who laughs the last?

The one who you have to explain the joke to.

Gather Jokes More Gather Jokes

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

What do you call a gathering of otolaryngologists?

An ENTmoot.

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

How would you rate USA and Saudi Arabia's relationship?

9/11

What's my rating from 1 to 10 for Harry Potter?

Nine and three quarters.

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

What are Bill Gates latest projects?

Needle upscaling and camel miniaturization.

Fur Coat Jokes More Fur Coat Jokes

What happens if you cross an Ape with an octopus?

You get a fur coat with lots of sleeves!

Why do bears have fur coats ?

Because they'd look stupid in anoraks !

Riker Jokes More Riker Jokes

What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers?

One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

Taylor Swift Jokes More Taylor Swift Jokes

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

What do you call a fast clothes maker?

Taylor Swift! Made up by my nine year old :)

Sow Jokes More Sow Jokes

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.