Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Riker Jokes More Riker Jokes

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

What's the difference between Rutgers and Rikers?

One turns young people into horrible human beings and the other is jail.

Dressmaker Jokes More Dressmaker Jokes

What's the difference between a violist and a dressmaker?

A: A dressmaker tucks up frills.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What does an Italian cow say when he gets an extra delivery of hay to the barn?

That's amorehay!

Gather Jokes More Gather Jokes

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

What is it son?

Son: Boys are gathering into our yard! Dad: ...How many boys Son: All of them... Dad: MY MILKSHAKES!

Picard Jokes More Picard Jokes

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One."

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

Captain Picard Jokes More Captain Picard Jokes

What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an 115 year old man and a 46 year old woman ?

sixty-nine

What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?

A: 3 years

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.