Sew Jokes

Why can't redditors sew?

Because the thread has been locked by a moderator

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How many cats does it take to make a fur coat?

None! Cats can't sew!

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did Jean-Luc Picard say in frustration to the incompetent Singer repairman?

Make it *sew*!

What did they sew you up with?

My Dad laughing so hard - as he said "That's not funny!" Cat Gut

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.

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What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine?

Make it sew!

What if I sewed myself shut?

Doc: Suture self.

Why can't you find good quality clothing on the Iron Islands?

They do not sew

What do you call someone who sews extremely fast?

Taylor Swift...

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling?

One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler!

What's the difference between a tuna, a piano, and some glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano tuna!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What is the best thing to take when you're run over?

The number of the car that hit you.

What did the Moderate Moslem say before hitting a guy for criticizing his religion?

It's alright, reddit'll say this had nothing to do Islam.

Tailor Swift Jokes More Tailor Swift Jokes

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

Barn Jokes More Barn Jokes

What do you call a bunch of dead black people in a barn?

A: Out dated farming equipment.

What do you call a barn full of black people?

A police shooting range.

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How do you interrupt a Redditor's winning streak?

The Game

How many redditors does it take to get a joke?

Three. One to get the punchline, and one to point out the math is wrong.

Picard Jokes More Picard Jokes

What did Picard say when Riker asked him what kind of Chinese food he wanted?

Make it Tso's Number One."

What did Picard say to Riker when the knitting machine wouldn't print single digits?

Make it sew number 1!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why were the vets and pounds mad?

It was raining cats and dogs

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?

Because of the tree bark.

Sow Jokes More Sow Jokes

Why wouldn't the sow let her piglets play with toads?

She didn't want them to grow into wart hogs.

What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer?

A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows.