Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

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Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between pickled ginger and a pressure washer?

One is a palate cleanser, the other is a pallet cleanser.

What's the difference between a Pilot and a jet engine?

A jet engine stops whining after it lands

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the girl quit her job at the doughnut factory?

Because she was fed up with the hole business.

Why didn't the koala get a job?

He didn't have enough koalifications!

Mix Jokes More Mix Jokes

What do you get when you mix olive oil, lemon juice, rosemary, thyme, salt, pepper and marijuana?

Cheech Marinade!

What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant?

Who cares? It's a relephant.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

How Pokemon go came to be Customers: "Niantic, can we have 151 Pokemon?

Niantic: "147 Pokemon You want to have 145 Pokemon ! What are you going to do with 142 Pokemon !"

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why are government buildings alike all around the world?

free masonry.

What does a woman want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

Mend Jokes More Mend Jokes

How do you mend a jack-o-lantern?

A: With a pumpkin patch.

What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending?

I can't find the twine.

Fun Jokes More Fun Jokes

What's the similarity between video games and roulette?

Very fun until it goes Russian.

Why is Lamar Odom so much fun...?

Because, he's just dying to party.