Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

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Slack Jokes More Slack Jokes

Why did the clothing store close?

The employees where slacking off.

How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near?

A: The leash goes slack.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Where do you go if you need to weigh a whale?

A whale-weigh station!

How many men does it take to fix a women's watch?

Why does she need a watch? There is a clock on the oven!

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why do stormtroopers make good drivers?

They won't ever hit anything.

What did the cat say to the human after being hit with a baseball bat?

Nothing. Cats don't freaking talk.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

What did the rubber say when he was offered a job as the high school choir teacher?

I can't, I'm not a conductor." Pffffffhehewheheheheheh.

Taylor Jokes More Taylor Jokes

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

Why dont you like Taylor Swift?

Shes awesome!". Because I knew she was trouble when she walked in.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

How was Rome cut in half?

With a pair of Caesars.

Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut?

They didn't like the barbershop Cortez.

Length Jokes More Length Jokes

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is the best way to break a shield apart?

Seth Rollins with a chair

What's the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.