Tailor Jokes

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did the tailor say to his customer after shortening the length of his pants?

A-hem!

Why did the German get their tailor and their barber mixed up?

They call their tailor Herr Dresser

What did Victoria say to the tailor?

I'm a Taylor too.

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants?

Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?

What did the tailor say after a job well done?

There is nothing left too loose.

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What did the tailor do after she got hit by the lawyer's car?

Sewed him

What did the tailor say about her job?

It's sew sew

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Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

What did the tailor say to the fed up customer?

Suit yourself.

What did the tailor say when he pricked his finger?

A: Darn!

When an ape visits his tailor what kind of a suit does he order?

A zoo-t suit!

Why did the Space Marine shoot the Tailor?

The heretic kept crossing the warp

Why do so many people listen to Taylor Swift songs after a breakup?

Because they were tailor made for it.

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

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Which real-life dictator was the most fun?

Napoleon BonaPARTAY!!!

Why did everyone make fun of the economist's fetish?

He was into inflation.

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How Swift is Kanye?

About as West as Taylor

What do you think Jesus's stance would be on guns?

I think he would be most strict on nail gun control. (Credit to Taylor on PKA)

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How do blind skydivers know when to pull the cord?

The leash goes slack

How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground?

He felt the slack in his dog's leash.

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What's the difference between LSD and my dad?

LSD doesn't need to be drunk to hit me.

Why did the cellphone go to court?

Because it was charged with battery.

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What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

What is the best way to lose money?

A: Lend it to Greece.

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What do you call a really fast seamstress?

Tailor Swift

Who sews really really fast?

Tailor Swift

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How would you best describe him?

Me: He looks like a miniature cat

How would you describe the typical Inuit mathematician?

Cold and calculating.

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What do you call herpes on a scarecrow?

A corn on the cob

How do you compliment a scarecrow?

Tell him he's outstanding in his field!