What is red and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with homesickness.

This joke may have profanity.

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What has two legs but can't walk?

A dead duck.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas?

Cancer

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How do they perform abortions at Hogwarts?

Fetus Deletus

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

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Why don't Muslims fight each other often?

Cause they don't want no beef Edit: I'm going to crawl back into my hole now

Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

Homesickness Jokes More Homesickness Jokes