What is red and crawls up your leg?

An abortion with homesickness.

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs who likes to go swimming?

Bob.

Why did Mary Poppins break both her legs?

because she had Supercalifrajilistic Osteoporosis

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What do you call a 16 year old black girl who has had a few abortions?

a crime fighter.

What do people in Prague call abortions?

Canceled Czechs

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

How'd you sleep?

Him: *texts* Horrible...I was tossing and turn- Me: *crawls out from under his bed* I KNOW, YOU POOR THING.

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