What do you do when you see a half dead native man crawling across your lawn?

Stop laughing and reload

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What stops your hair from falling?

The floor

What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ?

He cut all his fingers off !

Laugh Jokes More Laugh Jokes

How do cheese strings work?

I started to laugh, but then I stopped. How do cheese strings work

What's the difference between me and Jimmy Fallon?

I can get through one of his skits without laughing

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is so bad about being half black and half asian?

You can steal a car but you can't drive it.

What do you call a semi truck with it's load half empty?

Pessimist Prime

Crawl Jokes More Crawl Jokes

What are you doing crawling into school ten minutes late ?

Pupil : Well you told me never to walk into school ten minutes late !

Why did the bank drive-up window teller have tire tread marks across the back of his grey suit?

A: From crawling across the street when the sign said: "Don't Walk."

Lawn Jokes More Lawn Jokes

How do you get the political science grad off your lawn?

Pay for the pizza

How do you keep the St. Louis Rams off of your lawn?

Paint an endzone on it.