What's the opposite of funny?

answer: Jay Leno

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What's the opposite of ennui?

Off-ui. from *Gilmore Girls*.

What's the opposite of Tim Walken?

Tim Daly.

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What is the difference between a refrigerator and a one foot tall man painting the side of a house?

Answer: On a quantum level, there is no difference.

Who'd win if Batman fought Santa?

Before u say Batman, just remember who's watching you answer.

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What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.

What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.