What's warm, white, and I drink almost every night?

Warm milk before bed... Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the young kangaroo thrown out by his mother?

For smoking in bed.

What's bad about wetting your bed?

Urine it.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What's worse: Alzheimer or Parkinson?

Alzheimer. I'd rather drink my beer shaking than forget to to drink it.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind?

That people exaggerate.

Why does Daenerys Targaryen listen to Hoagy Carmichael?

Because she's got Jorah on Her Mind.

Gutter Jokes More Gutter Jokes

What is round, heavy, has 3 holes, and is often found in a gutter?

My ex wife.

Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!