What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What happened when the husband tried to deep fry his wife?

She went to the battered women's shelter

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a bunch of black kids playing in leaves?

Raisin bran

What is the sharpest thing in the world?

A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.