What was the engineer's reaction to his wife being too heavy?

Cantilever? (can't I leave her)

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What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

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What did the pig say when his wife left him?

Don't go bacon my heart"

What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin?

They became flatman and ribbon. has left the building.