What did the rabbi say after he was diagnosed with an aggressive and inoperable form of brain cancer, and his wife and child died in a car crash while driving to the hospital?

Oy vey!"

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do pigs drive?

Pig-up trucks!

Why do they put half of the instructions in Spanish?

It drives me crazy. I feel like I am missing out on important information. They should put the whole thing in one language.

Rabbi Jokes More Rabbi Jokes

How does the rabbi make his tea?

He-brews it

What do you call a bunch of crazy Rabbis?

Rabies!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where do children learn their ABC's ?

At LMN-tary school !

How do you stop your children from smoking?

Slow down and use some lubricant.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What will they call Mr. T after he dies?

Mr. T-Bone

What animal spins around about 200 times after it dies?

A rotisserie chicken

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Whos the coolest guy in hospital?

The ultra-sound guy. Who takes over when hes on holiday? The hip-replacement guy

What did the chicken say ?

What did they chicken say to his friends after being sent to the hospital after failing to cross the road ?. Don't worry ill get over it.

Car Crash Jokes More Car Crash Jokes

What was the victim of the car crash wearing?

A Casualty (Casual-Tee, as in Tee-Shirt) 100% Guraneed Originality You can know for sure I made it up because of how corny it is...

What would you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

Diagnose Jokes More Diagnose Jokes

What do you call someone on the borderline of being diagnosed with a borderline personality disorder?

An asylum seeker.

What does a mentally disabled lizard said to be diagnosed with?

A Reptile Dysfunction *ba dum tss* I'll be here all night folks