What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

What happens when a guy from Finland dies?

He is finnished. Ha ha ha. God I am so depressed. :(

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How long you two been married?

It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time.

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married?

Cantaloupe...

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

Why can't witches have babies?

Because their husbands have hollow-weenies.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?

45 minutes.