Whats blue and bangs old ladies?

Me in my lucky blue coat.

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Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest?

A bomb vest does something when triggered.

Whats a word that white people can call white people but black people cannot call black people?

Dad.

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What's the best part about having multiple personality disorder?

Banging your best friend's wife every night!

What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse?

A stalemate.