When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

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Who names hurricanes?

Are people actually supposed to be intimidated by something named Sandy

Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes?

The punchline is too long.

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Why do bears hate shoes so much?

They like to run around in their bear feet.

What does the Philosophy major say a year after he graduates?

Would you like fries with that "

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What'll it be, love?

The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre." So he gave it to her.

What do you think you're doing?

the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... "writing an ese"