When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

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What is the difference between God and my love life?

Some people think God is real.

What is wrong with people?

Have they never had pizza

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Why don't the Greeks, Slavs, and Armenians celebrate Thanksgiving?

Because they don't like Turkey

What do troll mathematicians like to solve?

Parabolems?

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Which doctor?

I replied "No, a medical one."

How'd ya get that?

asked the bartender. "From my husband," she replied. "But I thought he was out of town " he asked. "So did I!" she said.