When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a duck?

People sometimes get upset if you shoot a duck. The duck is much less greasy. BUT MOST IMPORTANT Nobody ever complains about a duck's bill.

How many people does it take to change a light bulb in Brazil?

A Brazillion!!!

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What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

Why are there so many avenues in Belgium?

Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow.

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What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

What would your parents say if I called them?

I replied, "Hello "