Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

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Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

Why did the spider buy a car ?

So he could take it out for a spin !

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What do you call a pig with no clothes on?

Streaky bacon!

What do you call a bikini clad conspiracy theorist?

An illumi-hotty!

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Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Where did the fortune-teller go on her vacation?

To Palm Beach.