Which wiki do dyslexic pastry chefs claim to be trying to visit before getting arrested?

www.filopedia.org

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What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?

Have you ever tried worm pie !

How many IT professionals does it take to change a lightbulb?

Have you tried turning it off and back on?

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Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

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What grocery store does Charlie Sheen frequently visit?

Rite Aid

Why would an alien ever visit Roswell?

Fill in the blank or answer the question.

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What do you call the kids claiming "We don't need no education"?

Comfortably Dumb

What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)