Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon?

It doesn't need cleaning

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten-ants

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What's a redneck's last words?

Hey, Watch This!

What are an idiot's last words?

Hey, watch this.

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What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script?

Speechless

Why wouldn't the piglet's mother let her read romantic novels?

She was afraid her daughter would run away with a wolf.

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What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?

A. Hump me dump me!!

When are you going to learn to drive?

I don't think they feel very safe in my taxi.

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Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.