Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why are hands so important?

You always need them for thumb finger another.

What does NASA stand for?

Need Another Seven Astronauts

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why was Jon Snow looking for an iWatch charger?

Because now his watch has ended.

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What kind of book did Frankenstein's monster like to read?

One with a cemetery plot.

What's a Michigander?

A: An Ohioan who can read. Q: What's an Ohioan? A: A Kentuckian who can count. Q: What's a Kentuckian? A: A West Virginian with a branching family tree. Q: And who the hell are you to be making all these rude judgments? A: Trauma counselor for tour guides.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What did the amputee say to his mom when he learned to ride a bike?

Look ma, no hands!

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"

John Boehner Jokes More John Boehner Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.