Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

What did the sergeant say to the corporal?

I need to see your privates.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How long does it take To microwave a baby?

I'm too busy jerking of to watch a timer.

Why did KGB officers always travel in threes?

One who could read, one who could write, and the third to watch over those two dangerous intellectuals.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did the Illuminati say when they tried to read someone's mind, but failed to do so?

Curses, foiled again!"

What will never be read in braille?

Do not touch.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Why can't Albert Einstein drive?

Because he never learned.

What did the ship captain say when his son learned to float ?

That's my buoy !

John Boehner Jokes More John Boehner Jokes

How do you make an orange turn red?

Get John Boehner to cry.

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.