Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?

Because she's dead.

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What do rappers use to wash their clothes?

BLEEE-AAAACH!

What's the use of happiness?

It can't buy you money.

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Why did John Snow get an iPhone?

For the watch.

Why can't Helen Keller use an iPhone?

Because she's dead.

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Why did Helen Keller fail her road test?

Because she was a woman

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.