Why did John Snow get an iPhone?

For the watch.

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What position do u play?

ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.

What's the best part about getting head from an infant?

Watching the soft spot move.

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What did Apply say to the iPhone 7?

Hit the road, Jack.

Why are the new iPhones so skinny?

To match their hipster owners' jeans.

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Why does John Snow wear a Rolex ?

Because he's a man of the nice watch

What do Socrates and John Snow both got in common?

Neither knows a thing. (from another forum)