Why did the geologist's wife leave him?

He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)

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What did the rubber ball say when he left the yo-yo's late night house party?

You better get some sleep - I'm gonna bounce!

What's the difference between Hillary's e-mails and the UK leaving the EU?

Hillary got off Scott-free.

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Why do Russians like pho so much?

BECAUSE THEIR SO VIET :3

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

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What type of person does cocaine after taking a shot?

A linebacker I came up with this on the toilet... Hope it's not old.

What's the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...