Why did the geologist's wife leave him?

He was getting physical (first joke hope you like it)

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Why did the carpenter's wife leave him?

He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her.

What's the worst prank you can play on a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

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When people say 'oh, you're still single?

I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married ' I'm popular.

How do you see lesbian relationships?

I said in HD. They didn't like it...

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What is the most mysterious cheese?

I'm going to a cheese and wine party tonight and the host has requested I bring a "mystery cheese". I'm hoping there's a puntastic cheese out there somewhere that may fit the bill!

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)