Why did the storm trooper decide to buy an iPhone?

Because he couldn't find the right droid he was looking for.

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Where do you find red eyed rodents?

Hamsterdam!

What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence?

Mountin' time

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Why did the melons decide to have a wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

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Why did the lazy person buy a tall dog?

A: So that they didn't have to bend down to pet it.

What do you call a bunch of people buying non-brand name ice skates?

Cheapskates getting cheap skates