Why did the student take Viagra while preparing for his exam?

His professor said he should study hard.

This joke may have profanity.

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Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?

A PDF file.

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What does the study of magnetism and self abuse have in common?

The Right Hand Rule.

What do you say to someone who studied media at university?

Can I have fries with that please?

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What's the best way to prepare baby food?

Shake'n bake.

How does Snoop Dogg prepare for Christmas?

he raps his presents

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What did the dash say when he failed his exam?

I underscored."

What's long and hard and screws people?

An exam.

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Who is your favourite philosopher?

PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher

What do you call it when Professor X does a wheelie?

Professor +