What is the chance we are alone in the universe?

Professor: Astronomical.

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Universe Jokes More Universe Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

What's the smallest thing in the universe?

A pebble caught between the wrinkle of a flea's ball.

Chance Jokes More Chance Jokes

What do you call a flying dinosaur who always gives you a chance?

A Fairodactyl

Why would I play something I have no chance of winning?

I replied.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

Who is your favourite philosopher?

PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher

What did people call the Nutty Professor before he became a professor?

Mr. Peanut