Why do failing college girls always screw their professors?

Cause they want the D.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

Why are pilots so honest?

Keep those maintenance issues quiet. I want lies, frankly. "We're delayed because we're winning a safety award."

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many reddit admins does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Seriously who knows? It's pitch black in here.

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs, they screw in hot tubs and infinity pools.

Fail Jokes More Fail Jokes

What did the gangster's son tells his dad when he failed his examination?

Dad, they questioned me for 3 hours, but I told them nothing!!!"

Why would the Holocaust have failed if the victims were Islamic?

Because it would have been impossible to get a Muslim to take a shower.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates. I'm sorry I'll find my own way out

Why did she get entry to the pub without paying a single penny?

Cause she being she, wasn't even worth a penny. (/hehheh)

D Jokes More D Jokes

What do you call a gummy bear with no teeth?

D

Why does Edward Woodwood have four D's in his name?

Because otherwise his name would be E-war Woo-woo.

Professor Jokes More Professor Jokes

What happens when a professor teaches for a decade?

A: He gets Tenyear.

Who is your favourite philosopher?

PROFESSOR: It's Hume. ME: Sorry - whom is your favourite philosopher