How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.

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Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.

How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's an obscure number, you have probably never heard of it.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Sanders supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

Trick question, they can't change anything.

How many out of date redditers does it take to change a light bulb?

OVER 9000

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

How did the blonde die raking leaves?

She fell out of the tree.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?

Branch manager.

Monkey Jokes More Monkey Jokes

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

How does a baboon make phone calls?

He just monkeys around on the line!