Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection?

Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

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Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What is the hardest part of cuting a baby in half with a straight razor?

My erection.

Why did the kid only water half the lawn?

Because there was a 50% chance of rain

Nurse Jokes More Nurse Jokes

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

Why did the nurse keep the bedpan in the refrigerator?

Because when she kept it in the freezer it took too much skin off.

Semi Jokes More Semi Jokes

Who would want a "Semi" tattoo on their colon?

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

What do I have that FC Barcelona doesn't?

A semi