Why didn't the bullet have a job?

It got fired.

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Bullet Jokes More Bullet Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Brown and Darren Wilson?

Only one of them knows how to dodge a bullet.

Who is the prettiest of my friends?

Me: your mother, why W: Stop acting like you're 12. M: (thinking) I dodged that bullet again.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.

They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

What do you call a woman that sets her bills on fire?

Bernadette.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.