Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

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How did you get those horrible burns?

flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire.

Why do goalkeepers spend ages on the Internet?

Because they can't stop saving their work.

Lifeguard Jokes More Lifeguard Jokes

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.