Lifeguard Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

You might also enjoy:

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic ?

His bark was much worse than it's bite !

How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim?

He was glad he ate her.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!"

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What do you call an emo a capella group?

Self Harmony Edit: #10 on /r/all! And thanks for the gold kind stranger!

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Punch: Because they are already "in the skies". Thank you, I'll see myself out.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What 6 things would you want on a deserted island?

Me: 1) You-- 10YO: Seriously Why would you drag me into that

What is up with 1, 3, 5, 7, 9?

I can't even...

Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the sea say to the shore?

Nothing, he just waved. Christmas crackers are the worst.

Whale Jokes More Whale Jokes

How do you weigh a whale?

On Whale Weigh Scales.

Why are there no feminists in Japan?

Because they hunt whales.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?

A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

What do you get when you cross a rock climber with a tsetse fly?

Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector.

Hippy Jokes More Hippy Jokes

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.