Lifeguard Jokes

What do you get when you cross a computer with a lifeguard?

A screensaver.

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy?

He was too far out, man.

How did your first day as a lifeguard go?

Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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Computer Jokes More Computer Jokes

What do Hutts use to program computers?

JabbaScript

How did AL Gore program his computer?

With the proper al-gor-ithms

Manager Jokes More Manager Jokes

Why did Olly call the manager for help, outside the store?

For the watch..

Which one is the 'in' door?

Let me show you", says the manager, and 'e walks in.

Cus Jokes More Cus Jokes

Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?

Cus he looked one way, then another way after.

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?

Cus he was too far out, man

Lake Jokes More Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Who would you save first?

Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!

Did you hear the story about the cheese that saved the world?

It was legend dairy.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What do you call a dog wearing a watch?

You would call it a dog. A dog wearing a watch is not a watchdog.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

can't complain"

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

Wave Jokes More Wave Jokes

What does it take for a soldier in uniform to pick up a girl?

a smile and wave!

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.