How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear?

An Amoeba.

Why do you never buy a woman a watch?

Because there's a clock on the stove.

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What's accounting?

Something Italians learn in preschool.

What did Amelia Earhart learn?

Triplane fuel can't melt sea beams.

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What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

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What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

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Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose