How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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Why do you have 0 viewers on Twitch?

Because not even Nightbot is watching you.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?

Four guys watching a football game.

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What do elves learn in school?

The elf-abet.

Why are white people so bad at horror movies?

Because they're curious and want to learn. And that's why you don't see many black scientists.

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How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

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How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

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Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.