How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

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Why don't women need to go to college?

Because it doesn't take four years to learn how to make a sandwich.

What was the last thing a blonde heard before dying of old age?

A: "Today children we will learn our ABC's"

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What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

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How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.