Executioner Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

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What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call a man with a spade in his head?

Doug.

Where do you touch a woman to give yourself the most pleasure?

The back of her head.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?

Mum: "Just to make sure"

How many Mormons does it take to drink a 12 pack of beer?

One if nobody is watching.

Saudi Jokes More Saudi Jokes

What do you call a Saudi cow?

A moo-slim

What do Saudi guys and girls have in common?

They all get stoned constantly.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

How many /r/Jokes mods does it take to change a light bulb?

removed

What do you call a chicken with no neck?

A Hic. ----- wife hit me with this one today. Remove the n. E. C. And k. From chicken and it spells hic. I'm sorry Reddit.

Behead Jokes More Behead Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world?

Where else would she beheaded

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What mammal dies after it mates?

Anyone that goes near my wife!

Why are we here?

Me: Philosophers still don't know 5: No, why are we HERE Wife: Your dad is lost and won't ask for directions

Prisoner Jokes More Prisoner Jokes

What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?

A Cellfie.

Rdadjoke Jokes More Rdadjoke Jokes

What do you call enchilada sauce bkessed by a priest?

A: HOLY MOLE' Thank you, I'll be in r/dadjokes all week!

What do black people and Batman have in common?

Neither one of them get r/dadjokes