Executioner Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

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What did the executioner say to the prisoner?

Hang on a minute."

How does the executioner like his coffee?

Decap

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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Saudi Jokes More Saudi Jokes

Why can't Saudi woman drive?

There's no road from the kitchen to the bedroom.

What's a Saudis favourite drink?

Milk sheikh

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What I reply with when someone asks, "What'd the comment say?

Removed

What did the Reddit admins do for Christmas?

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What's worse than being stuck in traffic behind a driver that's vaping?

Realizing that your being intently watched for your reaction to their sic clouds - BEST RECOGNIZE!

What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

The people in Dubai don't watch the Flintstones but the people in Abu Dhabidoooo!

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket?

I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet.

Permission Jokes More Permission Jokes

What do you call a drunk executioner?

A dun-GIN keeper. Edit: You have my permission to post this on r/dadjokes

What do you call a sick bird of prey that enters the country without permission?

An ill-eagle

Behead Jokes More Behead Jokes

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Why did Marie Antoinette travel the world?

Where else would she beheaded

Prisoner Jokes More Prisoner Jokes

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

When does a lawyer make coffee?

When he has sufficient grounds

What crime was committed against the coffee?

He was mugged.