Knot Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

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What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot?

It's a tie.

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Why do dogs make good sailors?

They know their knots.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

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Propose Jokes More Propose Jokes

How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.

Shoelace Jokes More Shoelace Jokes

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

How do Germans tie their shoelaces?

In little knotsies....

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who's there ! Ben Hur! Ben Hur who ?

Ben Hur an hour - let me in!

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin?

Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a baby from crawling in a circle?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

What does Ellen Pao have in common with the girl's mom from 'The Sixth Sense'?

The both have no idea why everyone stopped talking and just stared at her.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of fish is made from two sodium atoms?

A 2na

What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink?

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?

I only have eyes for ewe, dear

What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him?

I've got a golden tinkle in my eye...

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

How do you get a black guy out of a tree?

Cut the rope!

How do you get a black man out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

Tangle Jokes More Tangle Jokes

What is tangled rope in space called?

Astro-knot

What did the bee use to dry off after swimming?

A *bee*ch towel. What did the bee use to get out the tangles A honeycomb.