Knot Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

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What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What's a sailor's favorite kind of knot?

It's a tie.

What do you call a pretzel with roofies in it?

Forget-me-knots!

Why do dogs make good sailors?

They know their knots.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between a deaf person and my wife?

I don't know.

What are we going to spend 10 million dollars on?

asks his wife. "31 black"

Arctic Jokes More Arctic Jokes

What do you call a group of people standing in the arctic circle?

A Finnish line.

What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic?

Knot cool

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why did the balloon go near the needle?

Why did the balloon go near the needle He wanted to be a pop star.

Why did the nun swallow a needle?

So she could know what it's like to have a prick inside her.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

How does the Pope pay for things online?

Papal

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Why we going into the woods?

Let me out"

Why did the farmer fence in the bull?

The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!

Rope Jokes More Rope Jokes

What is the difference between a banjo and an anchor?

A: You tie a rope to an anchor before you throw it overboard.

Why did the rope not get any presents?

Because he was knotty.

Astro Jokes More Astro Jokes

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

How many Astros fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Both of them.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

What is every blonde's ambition?

A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Where did you learn to do that?

Don't wipe boogers on Mommy's pillow! Wipe it on Daddy's