How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

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Tail Jokes More Tail Jokes

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a Polish battletank?

Shoot the guy pushing it.

What did the keyboard say to the mouse?

stop with the cheesey jokes!

Elephant Jokes More Elephant Jokes

What did tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?

Look, a herd of elephants in the distance!"

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag?

How do you put an elephant in a safeway bag? : I don't know, how? : Take the S away from "safe" and the F out of "way." : But there's no F in way. :

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

What do you call a fish without an eye?

A Fsh

What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him?

I've got a golden tinkle in my eye...

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call it when you tie a brick to a jar of Miracle Whip and throw it into the ocean?

Sink-o de Mayo"

Why do countries "cut ties" when things get tense ?

So weird having men walk around in suits and half ties.

Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What did the shoelace say when I tried to tie it?

Uh, like, can you knot?

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

Needle Jokes More Needle Jokes

Why would a needle even be in a haystack?

Who sews in a barn

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !