Tail Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

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What does a dog do when it loses it's tail?

Goes to a retail store to find another one.

What do you call a reptile biting its own tail?

An alligatorus

What do you get if you tie two camels together by the tails?

A palindromedary.

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

Where do lions go if they lose their tails ?

To the re-tail store. :D

How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

Where should you take your cat, if it somehow loses its tail?

Walmart, they're the world's biggest retailer. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

How can you tell a dog is a cool dog?

It swags its tail.

Why did the poor dog chase his tail?

Because he was trying to make both ends meet.

Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood?

Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail.

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What do you call a reptile that can't grow its tail back?

A Reptile Dysfunction.

What's the perfect line of work for a lizard?

Re-tail.

What is the difference?

What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail

What did the monkey say when he put his tail on the railroad tracks?

It's won't be long now!

What's the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags it's tail, while the other tags a whale

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store!

What do you get when you cross a ring-tailed lemur with a U-Haul truck?

I'm not sure, but I know

What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?

It won't be long now...

Why did the business dog chase his tail?

So he could make ends meet!

What did the CIA dogs say when they supsected they were being followed?

Looks like we got a tail.

What does a cat say when you tread on its tail?

ME-OW! I am very sorry. Just thought of it and felt like everyone should hear it. Maybe some jokes are better left untold...

What place of business helps dogs who have lost their tails?

A retail store.

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?

If they squirted it through their tails it'd be very difficult to aim.

Where does a dog go when he loses his tail?

A retail store.

Why do dogs wag their tails ?

Because no one else will do it for them !"

Why does a dog wag it's tail?

A: No one else will do it for them

What's got two wings, a tail and twenty five pricks?

England's return flight.

What can we do to make it even scarier?

Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES

Why did Prince Eric leave Ariel when she became a human?

He was just chasing tail.

How did the mermaid get into a car crash?

because she was fish tailing!

What Are you braging about?

I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!

Where are most fish found ?

Between the head and the tail !

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a monkey with a white bandanna tied to his tail?

A surrender monkey

What did the pig say when the wolf grabbed her tail?

That's the end of me!"

What is it called when a reptile loses its tail?

Ereptile Dysfunction

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back?

They're always switching their tails!

What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?

This is the end of me !

Where do Doggos go when they lose their tail?

THE RETAIL STORE!

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower?

Because they're the largest re-tail-er

Where do animals go when their tails falls off?

The retail store

How do you make a glow worm happy ?

Cut off his tail he'll be de-lighted !

What did the dog say when he chased his tail?

This is the end.

What has a head, a tail, and no body?

A coin!

What followed the dinosaur ?

It's tail !

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What has six legs two arms four eyes and a tail?

A man holding an aardvark.

Where do animals go when their Tails fall off?

The Retail store

Where do dogs go when they lose their tail?

The retail store.

Why are dogs bad at poker?

Because they wag their tails whenever they have a good hand. Why did John's dog win the poker tournament Because he's a Doberman.

Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

To a retail store.

What has two heads, four eyes, six legs, and a tail?

A: A horse and rider.

Which dog is always without a tail?

A hot dog.

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Why do dogs chase their tails?

A: They want to make ends meet.

Where did the cat go when it lost it's tail?

To the retail store!

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What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..?

1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

Why do elephants have flat feet?

from jumpin' outta palm trees, duh

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Why did the zoo close the big cat exhibit?

Because they just kept lion around!

What do you call Usain bolt when he's running from a lion?

Fast food

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How do you make a blind man mad?

Awwwwwww. Look at them pretty flowers.

What has one eye but can't see?

A blind man... I'll show myself out... TO SEE YOU BACK NEXT WEEK!!

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What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?

What " " -Toes." "Out. Just get out."

What's the spaciest kind of camel?

Andromedary

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

How do you stop an Italian from talking?

Tie his hands together

How do you shut an Italian up?

Tie his hands behind his back

New Tail Jokes More New Tail Jokes

Where does the Easter Bunny go when he needs a new tail?

To a re-tail store!

Where does a dog get a new tail?

At the Retail Store

Eye Dog Jokes More Eye Dog Jokes

Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail?

He was taking a look around

When a seeing eye dog poops, who cleans it up?

This is the kind of stuff that makes my head hurt.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why does Steven Hawking hate the band Muse?

Because he can't stand their song Uprising, it wants him to rise up and take the power back.

Why don't dirty commies shower?

Because they don't want to wash away their Marx.