Noose Jokes

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose

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What hits the ground first?

The apple because the black man was stopped by a noose.

How do you pick up a black guy?

With a noose.

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

How can you tell if a black guy is well hung?

You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.

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Gallow Jokes More Gallow Jokes

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between me and my couch?

My couch pulls out.

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Leash Jokes More Leash Jokes

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

What do you call a pig on a leash?

Pulled Pork

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

What kind of apple has a short temper?

A crab apple.

Why doesn't Ebola harm fruit?

Because if it affected an Apple it'd be called I-Bola.

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

Why Did The Black Guy Crossed The Road?

because... chicken.lel

What is the difference between a Black Guy and an elevator ?

One can raise a child

Neck Jokes More Neck Jokes

Why did the Vampire's girlfriend break up with him?

Because he was pain in the neck!

What do you call a hundred black men buried up to their necks in dirt?

Afroturf

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

How did the woman feel after her legs were amputated?

Defeeted

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What does a Russian woman say to stop her husband from abusing her?

Vladislov, baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more... I'm sorry..

Why did the mummy stop using the Internet?

He was getting far too wrapped up in it.