Noose Jokes

What does Pingu say when he feels suicidal?

Noose Noose

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What hits the ground first?

The apple because the black man was stopped by a noose.

How do you pick up a black guy?

With a noose.

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

How can you tell if a black guy is well hung?

You can't fit your finger between the noose and his neck.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.

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Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

What defies the law of gravity?

Women. They heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

What's the difference between dating a redhead and putting your hand in a blender?

Answer: There's always a 50/50 chance the blender isn't on

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the different between a wife and a smoke detector?

One, you can turn off without even trying. The other, you spend all day waving a dish cloth at.

What is a traitor?

A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it.

Knot Jokes More Knot Jokes

What kind of knots only exist in space?

Astro-knots.

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

Why should I let you into heaven?

Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here

Black Man Jokes More Black Man Jokes

What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?

I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.

What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common?

A: They both have black roots.

Executioner Jokes More Executioner Jokes

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What did the executioner say to his wife when he left?

I'll beheading out now.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why do computer teachers never get sick?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What did Samsung say to Apple?

You don't no jack!