Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

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Noose Jokes More Noose Jokes

How do you pick up a black guy?

With a noose.

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

Actor Jokes More Actor Jokes

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."

Gallow Jokes More Gallow Jokes

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.