Why do you never buy a woman a watch?

Because there's a clock on the stove.

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Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What's the first thing a woman does after leaving spousal abuse therapy?

The dishes, if she knows what's good for her!

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

Why don't women need watches?

There's a clock on the stove.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Why didnt you wear the sports jacket I got you?

Me: You bought me a ski jacket Her: Skiing is a sport!

Clock Jokes More Clock Jokes

What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night?

1 AM feeling very sleepy.

What do you call a belt made of clocks?

A waist of time

Stove Jokes More Stove Jokes

How does a witch make scrambled eggs ?

She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'

Why are wedding dresses white?

So the dishwasher matches the stove.