Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.

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Who is saved?

America

Why is Jesus so rich?

Because Jesus saves.

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Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out.

What do you call a hippie that can't cook?

Burning ham!

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What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?

He was too far out, man.