Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

How was your day?

Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?

The Loch Ness Elephant !

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?

Thrown in a lake.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

How Can You Tell It's Fall In Florida?

When the color of the license plates start to change.

Why did the Caucasian gymnast fall off the balance beam while on television?

Because the white balance was off on the camera.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear that swings both ways?

Bi-polar

What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant?

This guy

Boat Jokes More Boat Jokes

Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

Who's there ! Cicero ! Cicero who ?

Cicero the boat ashore !

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why did Night fall?

Because Day tripped him.

What's Snoop Dogg's favorite time of day?

Tree O'clock!

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why did the wave fail the driving test?

It kept crashing on the beach.

3 Jokes More 3 Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

Why can't there be a League of Legend's team of 5 Lucians?

Because you can't have a team with only 3 champions.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a bottle of seltzer that lost all its bubbles?

Water...

How do you cure the hiccups?

Dunk your head in a bucket of water and pull it out twice.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What kind of writing makes the most money?

Ransom notes.

What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before.