Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

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Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

How was your day?

Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?

The Loch Ness Elephant !

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?

Thrown in a lake.

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A sadder day.

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By swimming in the main stream.

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In Laotian.

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What do you get when you put a number 1 and a number 2 on your calculator?

A huge mess.

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What's the #1 horror movie in the far east ?

The Sirens of the Rams.

What's a closeted Isis fighter's favourite occasion during the year?

ram a man

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What's the difference between a Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

Santa stops at 3 ho's

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3: One holds the light bulb, and the other two spin the Chair.

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What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

How far can a rabbit run into the woods?

Halfway. After that she's running out of the woods.