Lake Jokes

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.

What is the difference between Coors Light and a lake?

The can

What do you get when you cross a lake with a deflating raft?

Halfway.

What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls?

Altha'or syzygena

How was your day?

Lifeguard 2: Sad, I saw a bear in lake 1: How is that sad 2: He could bearly swim! 1:.. 2: He ate 3 campers

Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?

To a weterinarian!

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?

They had just dread-ged the lake.

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?

The Loch Ness Elephant !

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why couldn't the lake birds get along?

Because they were SWAN enemies.

Why did the sheep jump into the lake?

A: He wanted to take a ba-a-a-th.

What do you get when you cross the Italian mafia with the Russian mafia?

Thrown in a lake.

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Drown Jokes More Drown Jokes

What sits at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A drowning epileptic.

Why are millionaires bad at swimming?

Because they drown at their own wealth Edit: I got down voted :( I thought of that in my head and just wanted to share it

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms and legs that falls into a body of water?

Bob.

What do you call a water on a baby deer?

fondue

Glow Jokes More Glow Jokes

How's the wife?

Me:Glowing Neighbour:Pregnant Me:No, she's on fire, just going for more wood Neighbour:You're sick Me:You're next

What do you call poultry that glows in the dark?

Chicken Kiev

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What did the hipster say when a starbucks opened in his neighborhood?

You can't gentrify this place! I just moved here!"

What's black and all over the place?

Michael J Fox's signature.

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What is Samsung's next Note series phone after Note 7?

Samsung Not Explode

Where do naughty rays of light go?

Prism (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)

Sequel Jokes More Sequel Jokes

Why was Kaiser Wilhelm II such a weak ruler?

The sequels are never as good as the originals.

Why did the little girl drop her ice cream?

She got hit by a bus. Sequel: Why did the little girl's sister drop her ice cream Someone threw a fridge at her.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

What do you call a lonely terrorist?

ISIL-ated

Why is the new version called Windows 10?

Because 7 ate 9.