What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's worse than finding a hole in your condom?

Finding a condom in your hole!

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why do police in the US carry a tazer and pepper spray?

In case they run out of bullets.

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a paper bag?

One is made of plastic and is very dangerous for little kids to play with. The other carries groceries.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?

He was convicted of fragrancy.

Why are white prisoners scarier than black prisoners?

The white guy might actually be guilty. (Stolen from a comment by )

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

What do you call bacteria that can swim fast?

Micro Phelps.

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What is a mummies favorite genre of music?

Wrap

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What do young ghosts write their homework in?

Exorcise books.

How did I get the balls to write such a grotesque joke?

Gruesome.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

What happens when you shoot a black man?

You go to jail for impersonating a police officer...

What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers?

I'm confused.

Offender Jokes More Offender Jokes

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

Lake Jokes More Lake Jokes

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?

The Loch Ness Elephant !

Why are boats being driven into the side of the lake?

It's ram a dam