What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did the walrus go to the container store?

To find a tight seal.

What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?

Run!

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why do postmen carry letters?

Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

Why did the rapper carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle. :)

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the Roman say when the Greek accused him of stealing his gods?

It was all a myth-take!

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible?

In the big inning. Eve stole first, Adam stole second. Cain struck out Abel. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why can elephants swim - and aardvarks can't?

Aardvarks don't have trunks!

How many children with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Wanna go swimming?

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

What did one Buddhist Master give to the child for his birthday?

Nothing wrapped in Emptiness. How did the birthday child respond? You are thoughtless for giving me this meaningless gift. To which the Buddhist Master replied, "Thank you."

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What does a pig write with?

A pig pen!

What do you call an article written about a dead astronaut?

An -tuary!

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

How do you describe a hierarchy of police officers with only one word?

Police police police police police police police police police police police.

Why was the Police Officer still in bed?

Because he was .

Offender Jokes More Offender Jokes

Why was four afraid of five?

Because five was a six offender

Why is six afraid of seven?

Because seven is a six offender.

Lake Jokes More Lake Jokes

What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?

The Loch Ness Elephant !

Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.