What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

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Why is paper money more valuable than coins?

When you put it in your pocket you double it and when you take it out you find it in creases. -

How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?

Click here to find out the answer.(http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/howdoyoukeepanidiotbusyforhours/)

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why should you always carry a knife around?

Because sharp wits won't always give you the edge.

Why do ghosts carry tissues?

Because they have BOOOOgers.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

Why did it take a strong thief to steal a manhole cover?

Because only he could pull it off.

What do you call a Mexican that had his car stolen?

Carloss

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Where do hipsters swim?

Not in the mainstream

Where do people from Laos like to swim?

In Laotian.

Wrap Jokes More Wrap Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the naked man wrapped in surran wrap?

Well I can clearly see your nuts

What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane?

Clearly, I can see your nuts.

Write Jokes More Write Jokes

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

A: She turned it over and used the other side.

What kind of dinosaur writes poetry?

A Bronte-saurus.

Police Officer Jokes More Police Officer Jokes

How many Police Officers does it take to handcuff one man?

Nine, Eight to shoot him and one to say he was very dangerous

What percentage of police officers are strippers and what percentage of strippers are police officers?

I'm confused.

Offender Jokes More Offender Jokes

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

What did a police officer write in the criminal report, when they found a homey from the bottom of a lake, wrapped in 200 kg's of metal chains?

Offender stole more than he could carry by swimming

Lake Jokes More Lake Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a lake?

Bob

Why did the hipster drown in the lake?

Because he went ice skating before it was cool.