Why do I have a temperature of 101.3?

Me: Maybe you're pregnant Wife: What's wrong with you *damn you webMD, damn you.

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Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

Where do we go?

Me: Left Axl: Where do we go now Me: Straight. Axl: Oh, where do we go now Me: Damn it, Axl, let me drive!

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::

Temperature Jokes More Temperature Jokes

How do you feel if subjected to temperatures of absolute zero?

0K

What is the temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm

Pregnant Wife Jokes More Pregnant Wife Jokes

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

What happens if the baby pees?

Pregnant wife: She won't. She waits till she's born 5: Right. Just like no one pees in the pool