Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

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Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Why is the food so cold and bland?

Dad: Because your mother put her heart and soul into it.

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

Why couldn't the salad bowl play Scrabble?

It had run out of lettuce