Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

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Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What does marriage have in common with a deck of cards?

In the beginning, you only need two hearts and a diamond. Later on, a club and a spade.

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What Do You Call an Ethiopian with A Piece of Lettuce on His Head?

A Quarter Pounder.

What vegetable has Avoidant Personality Disorder?

Lettuce alone!*