Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?

Because it's all heart.

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Heart Jokes More Heart Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

How do you know if you've fallen in love with an apple from France?

Your heart goes "pomme pomme ... pomme pomme ..."

Lettuce Jokes More Lettuce Jokes

What is called a honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone with no dressing.

What did the veggies say, as they sat down for supper?

Lettuce, pray."