Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

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Hey, wanna hear a joke?

Parsing HTML with regex.

What has two thumbs and doesn't understand jokes that require a visual component?

This guy!

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How do you please all the people?

Tell them Ellen Pao has stepped down as of today!

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)

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What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

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Why should I submit a joke today?

Because today's April full!

Why were the Native Americans upset when it rained in April?

Because April showers, bring May flowers!