What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

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Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

She was always using fowl language.

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

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What Are you braging about?

I came from Chernobyl, I had a tail!

Why did the psychic get fired?

Because she didn't see it coming.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.