What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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What did David Crockett say when he looked over the Alamo wall and saw 3000 Mexicans?

Hey I didn't know we were pouring concrete today.

Why didn't the rock make it to work today?

He was stoned

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Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed?

Cause the building collapsed, duh.

Where does it hurt?

Me: *Points to heart* Nurse: Awwww that is so cute! Me. *COLLAPSES FROM HEART ATTACK*

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What did George Washington Abraham Lincoln and Christopher Columbus all have in common?

They were all born on holidays."

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

How do you suffocate a redneck?

Tape his mouth shut.