Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the difference between your job and your wife?

Nobody does your job for you when you're out

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !

When's your birthday?

Me: (Drunk) um ok thats easy... ten dash four PO: What year Me: Ugh duh every year

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

Which plant talks the most crap?

Shiitake mushrooms.

Why are you wrapping me up like a burrito & how did you find a tortilla this big?

Me: Shhh! This is my fantasy & burritos don't talk.

Emergency Jokes More Emergency Jokes

When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency?

When the chips are down!

What does an helicopter and pants have in common?

They both moust go down in emergency.

Suffocate Jokes More Suffocate Jokes

Whats the emergency?

My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking

What would George Washington do if he was alive today?

Probably get suffocated in his collapsed coffin

Stupid Question Jokes More Stupid Question Jokes

How many idiots who ask stupid questions does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Change it to what

How was the beach?

You hang ten or what " No but I stabbed a couple because they kept asking stupid questions about my vacation