How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

How does the alchemist please his wife?

Elixir!!!!!

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What do Amish people catch when they start using technology?

Mennonitis!

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Who's there ! Crewcut ! Crewcut who?

Crewcut and I'm the only one left !

What did the homeless yoga instructor say when he was told to leave his camp site?

Namaste.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What is the difference between a brick and a blonde?

If you lay a brick it doesn't follow you home.

What do bricks and Latinas have in common?

They both get laid by Mexicans...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did they tell the burger who enlisted in the Army?

You've got no beef soldier!

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

What time does Wimbledon start?

Tennish

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What's a dish best served cold?

Air condish.

What do you call a man doing dishes?

Single.

Pile Jokes More Pile Jokes

How many babies does it take to make light?

99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.

What did the hiker say when he fell in a pile of moss?

I'm not lichen this!'