How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife?

He gets hammered and she gets nailed.

What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What if my knees start to hurt?

Me to instructor: See what I'm up against

What do you call a thousand lawyers, chained to the bottom of the ocean?

A start.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why couldnt you trust Castros wife?

Because at one point, she was infidel. Ok ill leave now

What did the cat say when the delivery man was leaving?

Purolator.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do Iraqi men do that gets them laid on the first date?

They give their women awesome Dinar.

What's a astronauts favorite food?

Lays, because they are full of air.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell that you're getting old?

You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!

Where I from?

Please tell me.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why isn't a dime worth as much today as it used to be?

Because the dimes (times) have changed.

What is the only time a man thinks about a candlelight dinner?

When the power goes off.

Dish Jokes More Dish Jokes

What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out?

The dishes if she knows what's good for her!

What was the rock band doing at the kitchen sink?

Moshing the dishes

Pile Jokes More Pile Jokes

What do you call a pile of cats?

A Meowtain.

How many babies does it take to make light?

99, 98 get in a pile while 1 grabs a match and lighter fluid.